Issue 05
hybrid
excerpt from Pretend I Am Real
by Leigh Chadwick
This is spring and it glows. Everything is covered in linden. Even the linden is covered in linden. Leigh Chadwick is here, right here, also covered in linden, stuck between these walls, in a house built a grandma ago, where it is so easy for her to be with you. I love you, the chest inside her says. I love you, your voice outside the walls echoes back. Leigh Chadwick’s eyes wild children, your chest holier than church. There are moments and there are moments. Leigh Chadwick doesn’t know which moment this is. She doesn’t know if it matters. She assumes it doesn’t. Outside spring continues glowing linden. Leigh Chadwick steeps tea in her underwear while she imagines you sliding your hands over her hips, down her thighs. She brushes her teeth for two full minutes. She swishes Listerine between her cheeks. Leigh Chadwick goes through her closets and picks out a sundress that bloomed last week. The threads have already begun to wilt. Her throat presses against her gums. Leigh Chadwick considers praying again, though she never prayed a first time.
Leigh Chadwick goes into the bathroom, turns off all the lights and spins around three times while chanting, Leigh Chadwick, Leigh Chadwick, Leigh Chadwick. When she turns the lights back on a poem has appeared on the bathroom mirror. It is a good poem. Leigh Chadwick types the poem into the Notes App on her iPhone. She titles the poem, “Craft Essay,” and submits it to the Paris Review. She sits on the toilet and doom-scrolls through Twitter as she waits 376 days for a form rejection from a city she will never be able to afford to visit.
Sarah E. N. Kohrs creates art with a unique perspective on how surroundings kindle hope in even a disparaged heart. Find her photography most recently in CALYX, Glassworks, Gulf Stream, iō, Manhattanville Review, and Raven Chronicles. Surrounded by Shenandoah Valley mountains, Sarah is also a poet, a potter, a homeschooling mother, director for Corhaven Graveyard (a preserved burial ground for African Americans enslaved on an antebellum plantation), and more. Find her online at http://senkohrs.com/.